From the introduction: Courage

January 4, 2010 by

Ok, so how many of you actually read the introduction to the book, instead of skipping to Chapter 1? If you didn’t, flip back to page xvii (17, dummy!), because here he lays out something really important:

To have completely, embarrassingly honest conversations takes courage…speaking from the heart means truly being able to speak about all things that are in you , and then, in turn, living from your heart. Most people have been taught to live from their heads, which is what people who have had to survive have learned how to do. But at this point in our journey, if we stay in that place we will bear witness to our own destruction — all the while playing it safe and blaming one another.

I absolutely love that he sets out so early to tie loving, and conversations about loving, to having courage, and that he contrasts open, honest conversations with “playing it safe and blaming one another.” This may be the most important statement in the entire book.

Why? Because to even attempt to love anyone requires a ton of courage. It means getting out of your comfort zone, admitting your mistakes, expanding your thinking to be accommodating and considerate of another person’s worldview and being able to go through the painful process of expanding yourself to be big enough for two. But (at least in my experience) most of us would rather remain in their comfort zones; growth hurts and when that pain kicks in, it’s often a lot easier to point at the other person than it is to look inward.

So I’m hoping in this blog we can all have the courage it takes to be honest, to accept each others’ views and anecdotes as valid, even if we don’t agree.